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Don't Like Flying

No, I do not like flying. After Islamic terrorists blew up two buildings and murdered 3,000 people (just 16 short years ago), the Administration's response was to create a jobs program called the TSA. Their function is to inconvenience people and pretend that they are enhancing security. And they get salaries and bonuses and rich pensions once they retire. And they have unions and managers and they need buildings and grants and so on.

And I remember when one TSA agent was searching through a woman's luggage for bombs and found a dildo in the woman's luggage. The TSA agent wrote a note on the form accompanying all searched bags. The note said "Get your freak on girl". The lack of a comma spoke volumes, or at least it did to me.

TSA Agent Fired

I also remember when it was discovered that felony convictions didn't disqualify TSA agents from duty.

So we line up and we take off our shoes and our belts and we surrender our belongings to the X-ray machine and we give them our bottles of water and our lighters and our toothpaste and they stick all of these potential explosives in a garbage can about 10 feet from where everybody is going through the detectors. And we go through a scanner machine that takes nude photographs of us. Sure, we're told that the photos are deleted immediately and we pretend not to notice news stories about TSA agents downloading and sharing certain nude photographs.

The thing is, at age 47 I'm old enough to remember a time when we just went to the airport and got on the plane. And we didn't have to declare every single American who purchased an airline ticket a criminal and subject them to search in order not to hurt the feelings of Mohammedans. Until that world comes back I'll avoid flying.

Comic transcript

Crimebuster is at the Baron University hospital in Durham and he's just finished talking with two women at the hospital's information desk about the location of the Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner's report.

Crimebuster turns to his pet monkey Squeeks and says "Okay, Squeeks! Let's zip back to the hotel room and read the police report again!"

Squeeks, always eager for a romp, sprints after Crimebuster at top speed and follows him into the parking lot.

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