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That's the End of Issue #2, also How to Write Clickbait



Yeah that's right! This is the last page of ish number two, good burghers! Feast your eyes! Feast them!

Tough week at work, but you don't need to know about that. But it's over, and now I face the extreme challenge of a long and unexpected three day weekend with no plans. I'll see what kinda mischief I get into.

Oh man, check this out: Solo: A Star Wars Story shows us the hero all feminist men have been waiting for

Written by a weepy fellow who's so proud of the choices that single feminist men can make. Ugh. As if I needed another reason to completely avoid that movie. The piece is almost written like a parody. But if it was, like, why bother? Are you that desperate for articles? Aah, maybe it was written as clickbait. That's entirely possible.

Here's How to Write Clickbait:

  1. Pick a popular property. This can be a popular movie, a book, or a celebrity wedding or whatever. It just has to be popular right now.
  2. Pick an extremely stupid take on the property that is certain to offend sensible people.
  3. Write an article that both passionately defends that stupid position and claims the popular property openly (or hiddenly) supports your mindless, weepy position.
  4. use a lot of phrases that you think fifteen year old girls use
  5. give your article a headline that includes the word "Donald Trump"
  6. snap your fingers and physically move your head left and right on your neck as you write the article to create "sass"
  7. Call people who disagree with you "haters"
  8. Push your stupid article on social media


This formula works so well because if your position is stupid enough, it will enrage sensible people who can't reach across time and slap you in the face as you are writing the article. Nope, it's too late for them and they have to sit there like jerks getting angry at you. Then they get online and post links to your article saying "can you believe how stupid this is?"

Pisses me off. Anyway, I'll be back next week and I'll be posting another in-depth review of an original Crimebuster story. I'm only about three pages into issue number five as I write this, and the going's been very difficult. I'll try to get it done by end of 2018, but I really don't know if that's feasible. I'll cross my fingers.

Thanks for reading issue number two!

Comic transcript

PROSECUTION, APPROACH THE BENCH PLEASE This publication strives to render every criminal action that has a bearing on the story told here. However, the scope of the injustice is too large to describe its every occasion, and certain details merit further discussion. This "Prosecution" feature will go into greater detail when necessary to give you, our esteemed audience, a fuller understanding of the events depicted here in the hope that future injustices of a similar manner may be prevented - through YOUR vigilance!

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